I went to a job fair recently and felt old as hell. All of these companies were recruiting new undergrad graduates for internships. Just the idea of heading to a "Training Team Experience" at Enterprise Rent-a-Car makes me want to find a rented car and throw myself in front of it. I just want to work. I don't want to go to social gatherings. I don't want to do teambuilding activities at a Sheraton. I don't want to be on your kickball team. It was bad enough to be picked last in elementary school, why am I reliving this now? Is Corey Brueggerman also going to point out the maxi pad I dropped in the hall to all of his friends so I have to pretend I don't know how it got there while they all giggle?
Ben just came in and suggested we make sex tapes and sell them online. My newly gained business acumen makes me wonder what the market for those would be. I don't even want to see me naked, much less see me naked and moving so that the saddlebags reach full jiggle potential. Thankfully he was kidding. I hope.
The silver lining in all of this, of course, is our boy. Walking, talking, getting into everything, expressing his opinion (generally that he does not approve of whatever he is doing/being offered/getting dressed in). Still having some biting issues at school, but the ladies are still crazy about him and make excuses for him. My mom keeps saying he's spoiled, and I keep explaining that IT'S NOT ME DOING THE SPOILING. She doesn't believe me, though. I think she gets some kind of sadistic pleasure out of watching my kid challenge me. I don't know why, we all know I was a perfect angel. Always.